Who Ordered The XXL Fish? The First Trailer For Meg Has Surfaced

Hello nerds!

Thar be whales here. OK. Maybe not whales, but this fucking fish looks to be the size of one. May I present to you the first trailer for Meg, a movie about a Transporter vs a 75 foot shark and co-stars "Happy" Dwight Schrute.

Warner Bros. has released the first trailer for their upcoming giant monster/sci-fi/horror film The Meg and it stars Jason Statham as a deep-sea rescue diver who has to hunt and kill the prehistoric killing machine known as the Megalodon. 

Call me crazy, his distaste for comic book films notwithstanding, but I really like Jason Statham movies. With Statham, you can always count on him being oily and shirtless, surly and bit fearless. All qualities we can get behind in our action movie heroes. And then you toss in Rainn Wilson for comedy with a side of "Jurassic Shark"? Fucking amazing. Consider this movie rented as soon as it hits the digital platforms. 

Outside of the original Jaws, Deep Blue Sea, The Shallows, 47 Meters Down and parts of Shark Night 3D, most shark movies are near shit. Most often they fail to effectively nail the key aspect to a shark movie; the sharks should look fucking real. The CGI and FX are always a bit too off in the myriad of sub-par shark movies, and the audiences suffer greatly for it. People love shark movies because, through no fault of their own, sharks are terrifying. You don't really need much of a plot or an experienced cast to make a shark movie scary, if the FX or CGI are spot on. No matter how good a cast is or "original" the story, if the sharks are too fake, it takes you right out of the movie. Luckily for us, from the looks of the trailer, The Meg is not one of these films.

I'm the fan of killer fish, so I'm rather looking forward to seeing this. After all the turds I've seen starring either Ian Andrew Ziering and Brooke Hogan, it's pleasant when a good one comes along to class up the lot.

So, whatcha gonna do when a 75-foot shark goes wild on you? Get eaten, most likely.

The Meg chews its way into theaters on August 19, 2018. And would you believe these fucking posters? Shit, they're terrifying!

“In the film, a deep-sea submersible—part of an international undersea observation program—has been attacked by a massive creature, previously thought to be extinct, and now lies disabled at the bottom of the deepest trench in the Pacific…with its crew trapped inside. With time running out, expert deep sea rescue diver Jonas Taylor (Jason Statham) is recruited by a visionary Chinese oceanographer (Winston Chao), against the wishes of his daughter Suyin (Li Bingbing), to save the crew—and the ocean itself—from this unstoppable threat: a pre-historic 75-foot-long shark known as the Megalodon. What no one could have imagined is that, years before, Taylor had encountered this same terrifying creature. Now, teamed with Suyin, he must confront his fears and risk his own life to save everyone trapped below…bringing him face to face once more with the greatest and largest predator of all time.”